At Schumer’s urging, Amtrak will accommodate cannabis users on slow-moving routes

Amtrak is planning to accommodate cannabis users on its traditional regular-speed routes across the country, including on trains that run between Buffalo and New York City.  The move is at the urging of Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer, who believes that allowing adults to smoke cannabis on trains will improver the passenger experience and increase ticket sales for passengers that are willing to travel at a more leisurely pace.

Under new federal regulations that Schumer’s office has been working on for months, Amtrak would be allowed to sell cannabis products to its passengers aboard trains — even while in states that ban it.  The regulations would require Amtrak to designate some passenger cars as ‘smoking’ and others as ‘non-smoking’.  The nation’s railways are federally regulated.

It’s unclear if Amtrak will be allowed to sell cannabis products to passengers inside its stations, prior to boarding.

Many supporters of the policy believe that the new regulations will allow Amtrak to generate new revenue streams by enabling it to cultivating a ‘leisure travel’ market, particularly for long distance sight-seeing routes.  Improving passenger volumes on long distance rural routes — which are some of the nation’s most scenic — would go a long way to Turing the system’s poorest performing routes into some of its most profitable.

“I love a wide, slow moving train,” Schumer often quips.  “There’s nothing better than being able to put your feet up and enjoy the ride.”

It’s unlikely, however, that cannabis users will be accommodated on Amtrak’s most profitable route: the Acela Corridor.  That high-speed service is marked to business travelers at premium price points.

“These regs are designed to help make Amtrak profitable and to give it the flexibility to be competitive as it develops various niches in the market for travel,” he adds.  “Particularly among leisure travelers who don’t mind traveling at a more comfortable pace.”



  1. Is Schumer off his meds, or, has he already given up his seat to AOC?
    Trains no longer have “smoker cars” as smoke has been deemed unhealthy for people–who choose not to sit in a haze, nor attempt to pass through such a train car.

    How many people with asthma and other breathing issues will turn to a legal recourse? I know some sharp criminal attorneys who are licking their chops to litigate Schumer and DOT if they as so much roll a J.

  2. Hahahahaha! Ooooo, satire at its finest! Better than the Onion, just in that even though it’s clearly satirical, it would be incredibly believable if maybe 10% of the article were slightly changed. Facts are sometimes presented in *different* ways. I don’t mean alternative facts, rather, pure fantastical sky idealism essence but is painted with the brush of realism. If you look closely, you can see the individual brush strokes.

    I’m sure someone can imagine this being *factual* (or something like it), in about 2-4 years after the next farm bill update and cannabis rescheduling (perhaps under the the proposed C-VI that has been used in some states, or de scheduled but with ATF-C enforced regulation). We are at the cusp of actual legalization, but alas still in Aquarius yet to cross-over to the idealistic Pisces. In an era where trains serve less meals on trains to save money, but will still bump-n-shake some mixers, beer, and wine, who can’t imagine Amtrak serving a pre-roll, or a can of CANN? Would be nice to get a mellowing alternative that can be served right at 4:20? Hell, they can even make a *420 Kilometer Special Ride* drink that contains 4.2% alcohol, 4.2mgs of THC, and 4.2mgs of CBD!

    Anyways, this article will be very relevant, it’s only a matter of time 🫠.

  3. So sad this is satire and not reality. But it soon will be. – We are at the tail end of the world’s largest propaganda/demonization campaign, supporting 85 years of the American Inquisition. Thank Gaia, we finally figured out how to get around all the corrupt protection of the monstrously destructive, fraudulently enacted marijuana prohibition!

    State-by-state is slow, but it’s steady and it’s getting us there. – Kind of like a rock-and-rollin’ train.

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