Could ‘Big Black Cock’ be Niagara Falls’ next economic development strategy?

One-third of Canada’s population lives within 90 miles of Niagara Falls, and half of that population are women.  Some of them are married, many of them are single — but a booming Ontario economy, with strong labor laws, has ensured they broadly enjoy comfortable levels of discretionary income and have ample leisure time to spend it.

That’s about 6 million throbbing libidos of the female variety and a relative dearth of, what the young people these days call, ‘Big Black Cock,’ or ‘BBC’, as the jargon would have it.  All things being governed by the laws of supply and demand, an obvious ‘economic development’ opportunity for the economically struggling border town comes into focus.

A well-branded and aggressively promoted red light district could become an economic boon to the City, which was once the last stop on the Underground Railroad.  Marketing a destination adult-entertainment district with, perhaps, a dozen venues of various sorts could generate considerable volumes of weekend travelers — perhaps even counter-cyclically, during Canada’s long cold winter.

“The target customer would be married housewives from the Greater Toronto Area who have the disposable income and some extra time to themselves,” explains one Niagara Falls businessman who is advocating for changes in city zoning laws that would accommodate Main Street venues to open in the North End.  He is considering opening a ‘high-end’ African American-themed male revue in close proximity to the City’s Police Station and the Amtrak station.

“Over the next couple of years, I expect ‘BBC marketing’ to be a tactic of most of the city’s hoteliers who are trying to sell some of the massive volumes of empty hotel rooms during the long off-season,” he explains.  “I can imagine weekend packages that include tickets to a variety of full-frontal male revues, with hotel accommodations, limo service, and perhaps some sort of winery experience at a great price.”

Holloween, New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day, and Martin Luther King, Jr. Day could emerge as some of the city’s busiest weekends outside of the short 90 day summer tourist season, he predicts.

“If you believe the consumer marketing surveys, a vast majority of women have never seen a penis longer than 10 inches, and most of them would pay a considerable sum to see a few of them gyrating on stage,” he posits.

4 Comments

  1. Is this a division of “The Onion”? Seems so. And, one-third of Canada’s population would be a bit over 12 million people. There are not 12 million people within 90 miles of Niagara Falls. Maybe half that number at most.

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